Make it quick, Guy, I'm in the middle of a crucial project.
Head down to Gwyneth Paltrow's office and personally rub her face in your evil super-soldier technology?īAD GUY PEARCE meets with GWYNETH PALTROW inside an enormous squat office building played by JON FAVREAU. Now, since I'm obsessed with cloaking myself in total anonymity, what's the most out-of-character thing I could possibly do? Joe will never defeat me! COOOOOOOOOOOBRA!ĭude, tone it down! You're going to give away the big twist. We are a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world! G.I. TERRORIST MASTERMIND BEN KINGSLEY is working on his entry to the 1983 MTV VIDEO AWARDS. This scene will only get better the next three times we do it. I love you so much! Have sex with me right now! Robert, you're a thoughtless selfish asshole! GWYNETH PALTROW enters, very ANGRY about SOMETHING, it doesn't really matter WHAT. Hey, speaking of getting kicked in the crotch, where's Gwyneth Paltrow? Looks like I'm planning to fund my next armored suit by winning America's Funniest Home Videos. ROBERT is sitting around at HOME and decides to test out his NEW TECHNOLOGY.Įach individual piece of his NEW ARMOR launches itself straight at his JUNK, except the GLOVES which land on his HANDS and then punch his JUNK. Similarly, this one-night stand is all the motivation I need to ALSO follow a path of pure evil for the rest of MY life! Because the Marvel Universe literally revolves around Robert Downey Jr. Grr, Robert's childish practical joke is all the motivation I need to follow a path of pure evil for the rest of my life! From this day forth, I shall become.
Which we'll also do to people later on, and I'm basically ready to spill the entire plot of the movie right now, if you like.īut instead, ROBERT decides to pull a PRANK on GUY and do a FUCK-'N'-DASH on REBECCA. Plus, I've got some killer bud in my room, like, it LITERALLY explodes.
Me, too! C'mon, she may be a hot babe, but I've got utterly ridiculous nerd make-up! Hey, everybody! Remember, I either wanna fuck you, or fuck WITH you, so don't be in the wrong group! C'mon people, I'm an Oscar nominee, where's my crack?! Someone blow me already!! uses the full breadth of his formidable acting powers to portray an irresponsible, substance-abusing horndog coasting on his charm in the late 1990s. Like sometimes when you are a total dickweed to people, they do mean shit to you later. Sometimes your actions affect the future in mysterious ways. We see lots of IRON MAN SUITS EXPLODING because as we learn later on, they are actually decorative PROPANE TANKS.
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